When you graduate from secondary school with perfect scores in literature (D1-AAA) and become one of the youngest writers to join a national newspaper, finding out that you did not meet the English language requirements for a university degree, is more than crushing. It is especially so when you were off by only 0.5 points in the writing section.
It has to be mentioned that the writing section in question had a question that asked to interpret a graph. Dear IELTS, I was sitting an English language test not a math one.
I have been applying for scholarships abroad since 2009. It could have very well been before that but it was the next year when I got my first rejection. With half a tuition scholarship from Chatham University in the states; it was on Friday 13th August 2010 that I was given a rejection notice at the American embassy.
The explanation was that I couldn’t show proof of financially meeting the other half of the tuition and the living costs. The visa interview itself lasted all of 60 seconds. I hated the interviewer, I hated the states and I hated all universities abroad.
Never the less I persisted with my applications. I have applied to Bradford University, Amsterdam University College, Macquarie University and a number of other institutions that I have since conveniently forgotten. Most I got admission to the university, many I missed scholarship deadlines and for one AUC, I got a flat out rejection.
My choices were narrowed to Macquarie University in Australia. I have always preferred a creative writing course to a wider media or journalism option. Macquarie was not my first choice but over the months I fell in love with the school. I liked the administration structure, the highly qualified staff, the research reputation and the devotion to international students. I especially liked the multi-cultural diversity of the city I would be staying.
I missed the first scholarship deadline because I didn't realise I needed up to date English exam results to have a firm offer (as opposed to the conditional one) by the scholarship deadline.
The news plunged me into a momentary depression which I eventually dug myself out of and deferred my course to the next entry. I read up on the school, ate up news articles from Australia and stored up little bits of information from my work that I felt would be of added relevance to the already long statement of purpose-a must for any scholarship applicants. The thought of leaving for school got me through the darker days. I knew it was not a guarantee (not by a long shot) that I would get the scholarship, but with every day that came and went, I was certain I would give it everything I had.
I only had to sit for yet another English Language test and submit the results to be able to apply for the scholarship. The TOEFL I had relied on in 2009 was no longer eligible so I coughed up 510.000shs (way too much for my current financial standing) and registered for the exam.
I was nervous, hated the writing section of the test but overall confident in my ability to meet the minimum requirements. I did. Well, at least for the overall score and everything but the writing exam.
I thought, hoped, and prayed that 0.5 was too small a margin be of any big consequence. It wasn’t and on Friday last week I got a brief and detached email from the Admissions Assistant that I did not meet the minimum requirements.
DO.NOT.CRY was that day’s mantra.
I had, only a few days before, cried due to frustrations at my place of employment. I had cried a few months earlier when Pepe my ex hit on my best friend. I had cried way too many times in the past. I am not talking about tears of frustration but body wrecking sobs.
I needed to not to cry.
I needed to return to a place so much darker where the pain of the results would be numb in comparison.
I needed to spend the day my ex-boyfriends.
No comments:
Post a Comment